Oh, you don’t all have to stand on my account, boys. Though it’s certainly heartening to see you so alert. Do I have your full attention? Are you ready to make terms?
[Groans]
All right, boys, here’s the deal. You’ve always let your peckers do the talking in the past, why stop now? For the first time in history they’re making sense. Listen to them, there’re saying, “Lay down your swords and lay down with your wives.”
[You fail to grasp the complexity of the thing]
Oh, it’s not so very complicated. In fact, it’s so obvious that even your dicks can think it through: Sex is good. War is bad. Look at your women. We want you to live, we want to love you long and hard, and night after glorious night. We want to grow old beside you, sleeping in our own warm beds and happily bonking away with great regularity until all our teeth fall out and we have to gum each other. It’s very simple. The choice is yours. All you have to do to embrace us again is to embrace peace.
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